The priest looked at him and said, "Don't you want to go to heaven?"
"No," said the man.
"Do you mean to stand there and tell me you don't want to go to heaven when you die?"
"Of course, I want to go to heaven when I die. I thought you were going now!"
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A man said to his parish priest, "My dog died yesterday, Father. Could you offer a Mass for the repose of his soul?"
The priest was outraged. "We don't offer Masses for animals here," he said sharply. "You might try that new denomination down the road. They'll probably pray for your dog."
"I really loved that little fellow," said the man, "and I'd like to give him a decent send-off. I don't know what it is customary to offer on such occasions, but do you think five hundred thousand dollars would do?"
"Now wait a minute," said the priest. "You never told me your dog was Catholic!"
- stories from Anthony De Mello
